Since there wasn’t a “Once Upon a Time” episode this week, I’ve taken some time to reflect on some of the more preposterous aspects of the series. Let’s get started!
Here there (may) be spoilers!
The Weave-apeau
The Evil Queen is well known for her unusual and frequently over-the-top wardrobe, ranging from her plethora of pleather leggings to her plunging necklines, plumes of feathers, and hi-low hemmed gowns. However, one item tops all of her other accessories: the weave chapeau. In the episode ”True North“, Queen Regina comes across Hansel and Gretel in the woods and emerges from her carriage wearing this atrocity.
The Evil Queen's evil weave
Stealthy, the forgotten (or invented) 8th dwarf.
Stealthy, the 8th Dwarf
When Snow White is imprisoned with Grumpy in the King’s castle, they are rescued by another crafty dwarf named Stealthy. We don’t get to learn much about Stealthy, the 8th dwarf, because he is a standard “redshirt.” He is killed about five minutes later and left choking on his own blood in the courtyard. The dwarves make a fleeting reference to only being “seven” now, and Stealthy is tossed into the bin of forgotten plot and character elements.
"I'm just fighting fire with- FIRE!"
“I’m just fighting fire with- FIRE!”
Sometimes, dialogue can be bad, but this often happens when a writer thinks himself very clever. In “Desperate Souls“, Emma and Regina argue over the sheriff election in the mayoral office. Emma says, “I’m fighting fire with-” – she opens the door to see a blazing fire- and yells “Fire!”
I imagine that this sounded a lot better sitting around a table full of writers than in the actual episode.
Mayor Regina is watching you take your groceries to the car.
Mayor Regina Mills is in Everyone’s Business
In Storybrooke, everyone’s business is Mayor Regina’s business. Regina roves around town, acting as the moral police to would-be adulterers, spying on her son and Emma, and performing her own shifty business. When Mary Margaret bumps into Kathryn at the grocery store, Regina is there. When Emma tries to pin on the sheriff’s star, Regina walks in the door.
Whether at the grocery store, on the street, or at the pawn shop, Regina is there to watch and harangue the citizens of Storybrooke while her other mayoral duties are left unattended. She does manage to oversee a city council meeting here and there, should it coincide with her “Sabotage Emma” time.
Fruit of the Poisonous Tree
I’ve spent nights awake in bed, trying to figure out “Fruit of the Poisonous Tree.” Though the episode added depth to Queen Regina and her relationship with Sidney, I was left confused by several aspects of the story in Storybrooke and Regina and Sidney’s plans:
Sidney cutting the brakes
"Hey, apparently we hit a tree."
In his plan to win Emma’s trust, Sidney cut the brakes on the police car. As they follow Regina, Emma fails to stop the car, and they crash into a tree. If the brakes had been cut prior to Emma and Sidney leaving Storybrooke and following Regina, does that not mean they ran every stop sign and traffic light? Were there no turns on their journey? Did Sidney develop telekinesis and slice the brake line using his new powers?
Whatever happened, Emma is surprisingly blasé about crashing into a tree.
Emma’s inability to read blue prints
When Emma breaks into Regina’s office, she finds architectural blue prints for a large house. Knowing that Regina just bought land from Mr. Gold, she concludes that Regina is going to use city funds to build herself a mansion on the new land. Yet, when confronted, Regina reveals that she is building a playground, not a house, and makes Emma look like a fool. Seeing that the plans for a house would look nothing like the plans for the playground that was ultimately built, I think that this is a highly unlikely scenario. This is hand waved by having Regina call the plans an “inspiration” from Henry’s book.
Sidney and Regina’s convoluted, evil plot
"I can't believe that your unnecessarily complicated plan worked!"
Sidney takes a roundabout approach to gaining Emma’s trust. Imagine the amount of planning and preparation he and Regina had to undertake. They had to fake Sidney’s professional fallout, manipulate the city budget and files, set up the exchange with Mr. Gold, destroy the playground remains, and place the blueprints well in advance of approaching Emma.
Imaginably, Sidney improvised some things, such as cutting the brakes on the police car. But at the end of the episode, when Regina squeezes his knee, it’s as if all his long-winded plans have come to fruition. If Emma is none the wiser, it is not because Sidney was clever; it’s because he was inefficient.
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